Blog showing my work. Thank you very much .

Blog showing my work. Thank you very much .

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I confess it is only me …………………………and I almost don’t mind.

 

 

 

 

The living room smells and I am part of it.  
Have hiking boots for distant mountain tracks I don’t even know on. 
Helmet on, gloves on, camping backpack on, favorite flannel shirt on, pants on, thick socks on, flash lights on, Swiss Army knife on.  
 
Who is the one 
Who promised to forget all the pretty songs 
Who rides its hybrid bike alone 
Who goes to church as holding a gun 
Who has green tea in front of an aquarium with wooden tea water and uber filled with green moss  
Who listens the dogs barking loud 
Who prefers when the days are cold 
Who the favorite color is green but says it is blue  
…….and eats apples with a cup of cold milk standing in the backyard looking up trying to find a piece of sky? 
 
I confess it is me 
I confess it is me 
I confess it is only me. 
……………………………..and I almost don’t care.  
 
Tons of homemade sauerkraut again.  
Kept in sterilized jars of glass piled inside the wooden cupboard. 
The trees were all planted only at the other side of the city.  
Does anyone truly believe South America exists?  
 
I am tense balancing my life over fragile two wheels. 
Paranoid about cars and buses coming against me 
And homeless crack junkies watching me as hounds from the sidewalk. 
It is so nice…calm and quiet.. and full of life 
Speeding up under drizzle and rain and darkness and silence with no witness for crimes.   
So lonely only wishing to leave here fast and escape with no harm.  
 
Who is the one 
Who has a fake German watch and an authentic Italian tie 
Who doesn’t clean the house very well 
Who paints self portraits different of how he looks like to see it for real 
Who collects pictures of tiny green houses and dream 
Who prays to Jesus with Faith 
Who keeps Java Moss in mugs in the windows of the bedrooms 
Who lives in Sao Paulo loving places as Wisconsin as it was London 
Who loves German Shepherds living with four Lhasa Apsos  
Who doesn’t care for English speaking but is incapable to write in its own language   
Who wears DolceandGabbana fragrance to buy fruits because may have hot girls there 
Who is deeply grateful for everything moments before to buy another lottery ticket 
…….and eats apples with a cup of cold milk standing in the backyard looking up trying to find a piece of sky? 
 
I confess it is me 
I confess it is me 
I confess it is only me 
…………………………and I almost don’t mind.  

 

 

 

Caio Fern, BOM PERFEITO E AGRADAVEL, 2013, acrylic on canvas, Good perfect and enjoyable

Good perfect and enjoyable ( the translation from what is on the canvas ).
Like my life now and all God’s promises.  

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Hallo Welters !!!!!!  
Today I decided to start to paint. But I prepared this piece of canvasses three days ago ( or two?) , I didn’t feel mentally and emotionally prepared to sit and take the brush.  
I still don’t.  
But the work was very nice and calm. I spent the day singing and relaxing watching my aquarium which is prettier than ever, prettier, wilder, full of life as has never been before. Oh, I love my aquarium.  
It has been three months since I finished my last painting. I wasn’t feeling remorse for do not paint at all. I was very fine with that. But I felt it was about time to start to work.  
I didn’t have any intention to overcome myself and try to go beyond I had gone lately. I only wanted to hold the brush , feel the weight of the paint ( tons , it weights like many tons sometimes ) and do a work which could make me feel like home again.  
Mission accomplished !  
These last three months I just enjoyed my new bike and I have practiced hard to travel long distances on it. I spent all the money I had in accessories and stuff like that and I quit my job as a teacher ( I liked that job but it was time to move on).  
So I basically only ride my bike and take care of my aquarium, dogs, and domestic things, post silly pretty images on pinterest and check emails when I get a free time. Why not to add one more activity, the main one? Painting. The one which really makes my life have a real meaning.  

About this paint in particular… it is just a self portrait, a very happy one.  

Let’s see what I am going to paint this year, I have no idea and no plans.  
I love so much to do not have any commitment with any kind of professional activity about art. I can only do what I want, if I want, when I want, the way I want and tell the rest of the world to go back to where it came from: hell.  

I am really not in the mood now to write about all the very detailed stuff about art in general things and my work that has passed by my mind all this time I was not painting. My head didn’t stop… but I decided to restart the painting from the point I had stopped.  
I am more in the mood to talk about everything related to cyclism and planted aquarium. And what about you?  

Ride a new life

 

 

Hello Welters.  

I’ve taken advantage of my privileges of Welter Konig and recently only enjoyed life.  
Well, I bought this new bike, a Gallo Hydroform, a Brazilian brand from Guarulhos, a city into Sao Paulo’s metropolis. It is a really good hard tail mountain bike and I ride the city on it, flying and sewing among cars, buses, trucks, vans , motorcycles. Please, pray  for my life. hahahah. After the accident last Monday when I overturned and almost became an asphalt’s carpet I promise that will take care. Oh, I am fine, it was a real God’s miracle. I only left the place with a small scratch on my elbow and the bike is unspoilt. In Sao Paulo I decided to ride a mountain bike because it is too crazy for an urban bike, or speed, or road bike. I use to say the streets here are a mountain bike track with asphalt and extremely heavy traffic.  
I haven’t painted. I am thinking about it every single day but I haven’t done anything, not even gotten into the studio.  
You can call it crises, laziness, whatever. It is all this and much more.  
The truth is that I am changing my personality, ways to see myself and the world and changing my life in many aspects and even. New attitudes and new dreams. Some old dreams are kept too.  
I changed my diet, my way to make living, my clothes, my everyday routine, the decoration of my house ( Actually I have only threw things away now and bought very few little stuff ), my taste for music, my way to deal with close people, with strangers. Well…. I have changed everything.  
And I don’t know what to do with myself when it is about painting or art in general. As a matter of fact, I don’t even know if will keep producing because if I change everything in my life I change my way reasons to have a relationship with art too, as audience and as artist.  
I don’t know how it will affect my work. Or if it will be able to be called “work”.  

My last paintings were able to make so many things get clear to me . Check this post if you want to understand : http://silentspots.blogspot.com.br/2013/02/painting-dream-free-deer-blood-jesus.html 

It is incredible.  
Exactly 10 years ago happened something very similar.  
2002 was a year when my painting arrived to a top quality I didn’t imagined it would at the time  ( http://silentspots.blogspot.com.br/2009/11/2002-by-caio-fernandes-year-i-proved.html ) . When 2003 started I faded about inspiration because big transformations were happening in my mind and life , as it is happening now. These transformations were what latter I called Mein Welt , the paintings made between 2004 and 2009 reflecting the lifestyle esthetic and dreams of that moment.  

So I am very calm about it all and living a happy life among bike rides, cafes, shopping and buying new clothes, green tea in the afternoons, church in the evenings, taking care of my amazon aquarium, sunny days ( remember, it is summer here, almost autumn ) , pretty people, new recipes for my new culinary taste, and dog walks ( my 4 Lhasa apsos are better than ever).  

Now I am late for the dentist. 
Yes, Supreme Kaisers like me have to go to the dentist sometimes too. Only for a check up. We are almost like you, common people.  

All the best to my beloved people von Mein Welt.   
See you .  

3 brand new old works, 2004 , found here in MEIN WELT.

 

I had lately discovered older works, one has been already posted earlier last week and now these 3 here.  I never forgot then, as a matter of fact I knew very well where they were, in the deepest part of a closet I have here… and for some reason that painting of the man training the dog has never left my mind… but it has been many years since I didn’t see them.  They are from 2004.  The one of the girl with the German shepherd I know very well the reason I had it hidden, I am ashamed of they way I painted her face, I don’t know how I lost so much control and made her so ugly.  I will try to fix her face one day…. one day.  ……… and for the last, the fish, an Angel Fish or as we call it here, Acara Bandeira, I used to breed this specimen and I still love these fishes, now I am focusing more on smaller specimens but with the same origins, the Amazon Black River.  These works were made in a time when I was having very similar feelings I am having now about my work, painting and art in general.  I need a rest from myself and my work, it can take one day or one year or one decade, who knows? Who cares ? I want something else my work has offered.  But every day I wake up feeling like to paint but don’t know how or what. These paintings were made exactly when I created the Mein Welt concept for my life style.  So all this feeling about getting tired of myself is never a symptom of depression or any kind of lack of excitement. It is part of the creative process. It has highs and lows.  I thought it would be nice to share these 3 works with you. Hope you enjoy it.

a new one was found. Caio Fern, 1999, acrylic on paper.

I found this work from 1999.This was the year I started to paint.  I remember that only made this to see if it was possible to paint without using white paint.
The white parts you see are from the paper, not paint. I used a photo- self portrait as model.

Caio Fern, 1999, acrylic on paper.

Wild Life means a little yellow box. The Wisconsin- Bournemouth- São Paulo Connection.

So it means all started because I friend of mine sent a message from Wisconsin telling me about a deer who had died hit by a car in front of her house, the carcass was right on her front lawn and the county for weeks didn’t send anyone to take it from there.

Telling me this novel about how to make the county take a dead deer carcass from your lawn we talked a lot about the deer situation on the green state of Wisconsin. Go Packs !!!!!
It got in my mind and I pretty much had to start to paint , for some reason painting is a tool I use to talk to myself.
All the rest you saw on the earlier posts, for one month or more I have painted using the deer theme and writing about this particular experience : deer, painting, my life’s story.
It is funny, up there in the frozen Wisconsin comes news which touch me deeper than the facts surrounding my life here, in the hot tropics. And talking about tropics, I have tried to paint for four days… It is too hot to make any move, the canvasses has been prepared and all is in my mind, but when I get into my studio… ohh noooo… I only feel like to take an uber cold tea or fresh fruit juice. I am not complaining , it must to be an unconscious excuse to postpone the battle that is the act of painting for me . Ahhhhh… the frozen lands up north seem to be so tempting now.

Sometimes is the extremely opposite that is able to show the truth of us and open hidden understandings.  God bless the extremely opposite of our particular and earthly nature.

But the story doesn’t end here. This friend of mine, Sandy, insisted a couple of times ” Caio, here we don’t say Stag, we say Buck”.
Yes, it is right and I intend to make a ” Buck” painting one day, very soon. I want very much to do it as still have to dive deeper into this feeling.
But let me tell the Stag Story : As you know English isn’t my first or not even second language. Is it the third ? There was me, 2007, after have lived in London I started to travel by Great Britain till a girl invite me to live with her and her girl friend at her apartment in a lovely south shore little town named Bournemouth. I even got a two weeks job there in one of the dozens night clubs. The most expensive one named 2020, I got the black t-shirts and still wear it today, hahaha.
One day coming back from the beach I had to pass by the down town as it was the way to the apartment I was staying as guest when I looked to the floor and found an used little box of matches which you see the pictures on this post.
I read “stag”, well my English skills are only  good for surviving and at the time I decided to read all Tolkien’s work, starting by Silmarillion which I was reading exactly at the time, my idea was if my English sucks I will start to read this language by what everybody says that is very hard, hahahah, it didn’t help me at all, as you can see .
But  ”stag”, what is this?  Arriving at the apartment I took a dictionary and saw the meaning. That is the reason I chose to use this world.
Remember… here in Sao Paulo we have absolute anything related with the deer culture. It is completely an alien and exotic concept for the local life style. So if I had the necessity to paint because of this subject and the stories told me from North, I would use the word I was familiar with as my only personal experiences with deer are from Europe and England. Even the paintings I made in 2008 and 2009 portraiting deers are from models I saw and photographed there in the old land.
About this old box of matches, I took it with me all the way, it became my bookmark till today, started marking the pages of Silmarillion and all the books I have read since then. Yes, I have it by my side now and took these pictures a couple of days ago as I intended to post about, it would be hanged and glued on the painting I wrote the word Stag… but I decided to keep as a bookmark.
It is pretty, isn’t it?
——————–
the deer photo was taken by Sandy.