Personal contradictions about this… Caio Fern, 2012, acrylic on canvas.


how  can feelings be so contradictory about a work ?

for many times during I was painting it I got exited about and worked hard to make things happen…. other times I was exploding in total lack of patience and completely stopped to believe on it.

I am staring at this on the wall and still have the most divided feelings about.
Sincerely, this work is so well behaved and so predictable under my expectations that I feel like to go out to the street and punch someone with it to see if the blood spots will make the painting better or at least ruin it completely.

oh, yes, I like it… but… no, it isn’t what I need/want to paint now.
I mean… it doesn’t go beyond what I’ve done, it is a good work but didn’t add anything new in my life, any new territory fed me with any new kind of nutrient.
What I have inside me now isn’t there… what I need isn’t there too.
I do hope other people like it, I can understand as people have different needs from each other…. maybe this work can help me in the future… then I will be able to appreciate it without having to give or suck all my energy from the plots, spots, colors, textures and cuts.

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