we are free to go now.
Oh, how do I despise us now. I hated us at that time.
Today I didn’t mean to pass by that place again, I just had to go there for other issues. This is the place where they put guns in our heads and shot your boyfriend while you swallowed your scream. I promised that would protect you but couldn’t do anything, I tried, you saw what happened. I am so sorry.
I am so sorry.
I complain the city destroyed all the places of my memory, all my youth is gone. But what exactly I am complaining about? This is a bless. This is the empire built by the evil and the evil destroys itself without our help.
And that place of our very private tragedy is just a new building today with private security and cameras. One more building that doesn’t look like us. Doesn’t have our face and knows nothing about our existence.
Our miserable life was a shadow and it is forgotten by the world that never knew us.
What a bless is to be forgotten by the evil and pain.
So today I passed by that place and realized I am ready to forget it all too. And to forgive…. well, from my part there is nothing to forgive anymore. Existence is clean and opened to leave it all behind.
Even so, I am so sorry. I love you and I don’t know where you are or if you are alive. I secretly wish you follow one of my blogs anonymously ( facebook, twitter, whatever ) and will read this.
I always think you know where I am and don’t have courage to get in contact. And if I knew where you are I probably wouldn’t have courage to look for you too.
I remember … something like five years ago I went to our old neighborhood and passed by the corner of the street where you lived with your parents. I took a long breath and went towards that green gate your dogs loved to stay and bark. By the sidewalk I saw the new owner rebuilt the house and made several changes, but that tree with yellow flowers was still there and in bloom.
Do you remember when we were something like twelve years old and you introduced me to that redhead girl, I was very shy because had never had a girlfriend and she was so cute that I immediately felt like to merry her? It was this season of the year too, the tree was in bloom and the floor all covered by yellow.
We are free to go now, aren’t we?
We are free to leave the world and life behind…….. building something golden and noble, beyond, in silence, with love. Something private between the unspoken words spining in the air of our closed mouths and the opened universe.
You are going to build yours… I am going to build mine.
We’ll see each other in the eternity.
See you later, pretty girl.