I lost my nostrils many times. Caio Fern, 2012, acrylic on canvas.

I finished this work few hours ago….
Started yesterday and had only few hours to work… I had 3 or 4 hours to finish the first part, the top one was the only thing I was sure that wanted to paint, it is a head looking up…. simple and small… right ? Right. I thought again that would finish that in few minutes. It happens that I had trouble painting the first nostril, when I finished and went to paint the second one… wow, I lost the first !!!! I wasn’t able to put the both nostrils one by the side of the other…. was always losing one. It took me a long time to find a way to paint one and do not lose the other. I don’t understand why or how… it just happened. The rest of the head and neck was easy and fast.
The both heads below I painted now… it just doesn’t fit. I mean: the head on the top and the heads below in profile are two different paintings. The idea this morning was to make  these heads match perfectly with the top one creating one single object, strong and solid. I got this idea that wanted something solid last night, I was observing the top head and it was so strong, solid, like a rock. So all the rest of the painting was supposed to be like that. But this morning the colors in the sky and the light coming into my studio were completely different and I naturally saw different colors. I paint what I see, I am a very conventional painter and proud of it.
When I said to myself that would stop to paint and finish the work I stepped back and got very disappointed. I didn’t know what to do or how to solve all the things I didn’t like. The work almost went to the trash can. It took me a while looking to it till start to get used and maybe even like it. I don’t know, I will let it hanged on my wall for a couple of days. Maybe I change something, maybe I throw it away… or just leave it as it is.



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