So there was Me at 3 am finishing my painting all happy because It was a good work, maybe the best of the year. I put some music to play , one of my old CDs … listening and looking to the work… again, all happy and satisfied. I started this painting on Saturday morning after a walk under the rain, winter and rain together is wonderful, only me at the streets at 5:00 or 6:00 o’clock and the pure smells of earth grass and flowers from the feel gardens I can find here. I had my Scotch umbrella made in China and my Italian shoes made in Sao Paulo inside’s country and everything got even better when I crossed a ( i don’t know the names in English ) pink Primavera growing upon a pine tree , so the winter dried the leaves pine tree exposing its wonderful branches but as here in Brazil nobody respects anything , the Primavera plant decided to become full of pink flowers right in the winter. birds and “pinhas” on the branches and a clear grey sky blowing coldness into my neck. Kill me now because I am ready, lovely quiet morning.
I started the painting when arrived home but stopped at noon, I came to check emails and went to sleep, I woke up after 40 minutes and only drunk tea till 10:00pm when decided to keep painting.
Now you know everything. And between 3:00 and 6:30 I only listened music and looked to it saying : “Caio you brilliant bastard, I am so proud of you”. I prayed to God saying thank you for the opportunity of painting one more time and for the fact He gave me one really good work.
At 6:30 I left the studio and went to my bedroom, Turned on the TV in hope it could help me to sleep and what I see. It happens that Sunday one of the TV channels here shows a very popular catholic priest in the morning, his mass isn’t bad at all and I thought it would be nice to sleep listening Jesus this Jesus that…. when the mass finishes and the TV show is almost over, the last image they show is a traditional Byzantine image of Jesus.
Well, if Jesus is the Truth and He is… He just showed me that I am not that brilliant at all and should keep a bit more humble about my skills, talent and work.
The image that appeared for 2 seconds or less on TV made me remember of Giotto, one of the earlier loves and influences about painting, I remember how much I loved his work when was starting to paint 12 years ago.
I remember too of my last work and went back to the studio. Yep, I didn’t do anything new , this work is only a 21st version of Giotto’s painting. Nothing new here.
It has been years that I don’t “visit” his work by books and even less on internet, so I didn’t realized how similar it was.
Well, I went to sleep with that feeling that at least I will one day be able to paint again and maybe do something for real. Till then I will just swallow my pride and recognize that all my creativity and talent only drove me to produce a work similar what a Italian guy made between 1266/7 – 1337.
On this work I have absolut any religious intention but sure , as always , search for developing spiritual issues. Giotto was 100% religious.. but at his time , religion and spirituality could be considered the same wings of the same need and search.
By the way, after my walk in the morning before to paint I had decided that the name of this work would be :
BRIGHT GROSS WEIGHT WING.