Tag Archives: Caio Fern

Die spinnen, die Römer


2014 Ich zu ihr geschickt 2

Die spinnen, die Römer – The Romans are crazy ( or something like that ).

lol !!!! wait… what?
She can’t talk to me like that. Where did she take this idea?

Happy new year everyone !!!!

Keep the good hard work and please ignore the fact I have procrastinated for two years.

I am only riding my bike in the most selfish fashion possible. I ask myself if it is a middle age crises…. hum… I have had middle age crises since I was 10 years old.. so I think it is only a cheap way to run from my responsibilities and feel happy all the time I beat my own personal records on two wheels,  some distant road or mountain bike track lost in time and space.
I don’t feel like to paint at all… I realized I don’t need painting in my life and the painting doesn’t need me neither. We agreed to keep distance from each other and it seems to be working well. Divorce can be a good thing when it is about art….
Ciao Bella and stop saying I look like a crazy Roman. I still am Der Welter Konig from the lost mountains across the oceans.  😉

Die spinnen, die Römer
Der Welt König
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Caio Fern, acrylic on canvas, 2014 .


Caio Fern, acrylic on canvas, 2014 .

Hallo Liebe Welters !!!!!
It has been something like one week that only rains here in Mein Welt.
There is nothing better than this weather for a nice peaceful life with cups of teas and Aquarium landscapes to enjoy and make you dream.
Now that 2014 has already arrived ( at least here in my tiny little petite nation in the hidden mountains of South America where all descendants of nazis, pirates, slaves, fairies, Fundamentalist Christians, Tolkien characters and Ramones’s fans can reproduce like rabbits ) , here from the top of my castle in the North of Mein Welt , in the Northwest picks with view to the shores of the God’s Promise’s sea, I woke up and decided to start a silly little painting.
This is what I am in the mood to paint now. And I think and wave of new paintings are coming to fulfill the walls of the cottages of my beloved people.
Lately I have only improved my performance of my bike and enjoyed aquascape, I have at least 6 new projects for new aquariums and don’t know how or if I am going to make it happen.
Wishing you all my beloved Welter People a great week and God bless you in all areas of your life.

a source of spiritual misery. ——– by Caio Fern.


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Oh, the electricity must to be saved this month. Let’s only use flash lights I bought for camping that didn’t happen yet, it is late of night and will make the neighbors freak out thinking there is a thief at home.
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She is skinny and beautiful but since when it is secrete the fact men like me have a strong preference for more fleshy women?
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I could be quite in my corner pretending I am one of them but I had to take risks. I know what you are talking behind my back. I know because others have said the same before. It is your lack of authenticity that makes you a stranger to me, not what you think or do. I know what it leads to… I’ve survived many times.
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As long as I understood, Jesus said the sons of the world are smart for the things of this world but the sons of God aren’t so much. It only proves to Whom all my existence belongs. I don’t know what to do with myself and I am too old to learn new tricks. I don’t know how to survive and the fact I am alive proves that miracles happen every single day all the time.
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It is all very disappointing because everything I can do with a group I do much better and faster alone. So I put the helmet on and one of my old flannel shirts. I face the cold wind and never look back listening to music composed and recorded in distant countries because they remind me of the life I don’t have, but share the feelings. After many kilometers: DAWN.
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Dawn is never glamorous or pretty as I can’t see it through buildings and other concrete constructions. It is more like an intuition that something new is up to start. And in fact something new starts… but nothing changes. How can something new starts if the old things never get finished? So…..
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You leave home with faith that in some corner someone will notice you and give you a chance to live with dignity and be loved. You do many things to force it to happen, you do all the right things and the wrong things, you go to all the kinds of places and cross the world. After so many years you only go back home and take your shoes off saying to yourself tomorrow is a new day, who knows, brush your teeth before to go to bed.
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She is skinny and beautiful. And so smart and mature for her age…. but is still too young for me. She wants to experiment things I am already tired to know. She has to pass by situations I don’t want to pass anymore and I hated when it happened. We can’t be together. She says she loves me, she doesn’t, she loves the lies I told her and will never confess.
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It is weird to see the world by this angle. Everything is so far from this remote flipped over south side. What is the difference between watching a movie with Hobbits or a documentary about the global economy? So it is nice to wear my best suit with English cut to ride a Chinese bike listening to Swiss musik being an German-Italian guy with a Portuguese last name in a South American country going to a Japanese supermarket buying Brazilian supplies and prepare Bavarian food throwing bites to my Tibetan dogs while watching North American sitcoms. What does it mean? Nothing. Obvious identity is for cowards.
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ohhh. But I am a coward. Guilty. As every man I have my list of necessities. Things I must to conquer in this life. Recently I realized all my dreams aren’t less silly and useless than the list of toys I used to do for Christmas when was a children.  I don’t want to face the fact all I need for real is death and salvation. Who is brave enough to embrace this? Death is natural, but salvation…. Would I recognize real light if I see it? Would I see it anyway?
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So it is Saturday-Sunday past midnight and soon I will go out to ride, among drizzle, junks, drunk drivers, dirt, and whores. Among sin and crimes the air is fresher to brief and easier to run. Sure I fear for myself. There is always a chance to be my last ride, breath and sight. I am a stag in the forest, not a predator even if I run and observe as a ranger.
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It is funny because at 8:00 AM a group of cyclists will be gathered to run all down town, when it is warm and safe. I will be there pretending I am one of them, ignoring what they say behind my back. Hi, you know my name and I am one of you. My lies never end. My body will be exhausted and they will be fat and lazy after breakfasts complain it is too early for a Sunday and are still feeling asleep.  I just want an excuse to ride a little bit more, this time feeling safe even if it is all fake.
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List of things I must to conquer in this life. Doesn’t matter the results, any idea related to it is a source of spiritual misery.
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All the arrogance of my hands – by Caio Fern.


 

One more hot shower in a cold day and I will be done before to face the tea and the drizzle out there. 

The dogs stink and my house has a light aroma of  Dijon Mustard, Einsbein and feet. The grey light coming through the not so opened window makes it perfect. 
It is all the same over the dark brow furniture and that is what I fought so much for. Have my prayers been answered already? 

If should I ride the bike with my rain coat or take the subway with my umbrella, if should I stay home pretending I am doing something useful or dig myself under the blanket…..only the extension of my chest will be able to say. 

So…. if I looked for that specific kind of warm golden skin and breasts was because I only wanted protection while pretended I was the Alfa Male of the situation. She was supposed to worthship me in a cozy presence while I hold her in my arms saying everything would be fine as it was all I wanted so much to hear my entire life. 

Oh yes yes yes my dear, I know more than every one could……  let’s not forget how blessed I am for have been so cursed and never, never whisper or murmur again. One day the sea will be opened and all the difference will be made. I know the promises and  I know my wishes, and… I know very well what I am capable to do, you don’t have to repeat it all over again. Haven’t I kept myself faithful to all this?

All the arrogance of my hands and smiles come from my humble nature, see, it is very naive if you look into my eyes at least once. 
In the shower I realized that only exist three kinds of women in this world : 
 – The ones who throw themselves on me.  
 – The ones who masturbate thinking of me.  
 – And the ones who masturbate thinking about me and then throw themselves on me.  
Yeah, I know I am handsome.

 

When I woke up this morning I felt like a grey bubble filled with all the traumas and negativity of my life was been taking out of my body and soul for good. Then I fell asleep again. Then I woke up almost noon. Then I noticed it was drizzling. Then the aquarium fishes needed to be fed. Then I felt cold and dirt. Then I forgot all I was supposed to do in my life. Then I was free. Then I remembered all my life was supposed to be and isn’t. Then I was miserable again. 

It is so peaceful to be a failure in flesh holding a hot mug in the cold afternoon while all the success out there in the world struggles so hard to keep their miserable prosperity. 
Let me just sit here in front of my bike leaned against the wall while the harry red dog lies on my feet  working on his new bone. I quit the world again, I am free for today.

3 brand new old works, 2004 , found here in MEIN WELT.


 

 

I had lately discovered older works, one has been already posted earlier last week and now these 3 here. 
I never forgot then, as a matter of fact I knew very well where they were, in the deepest part of a closet I have here… and for some reason that painting of the man training the dog has never left my mind… but it has been many years since I didn’t see them. 

They are from 2004. 
The one of the girl with the German shepherd I know very well the reason I had it hidden, I am ashamed of they way I painted her face, I don’t know how I lost so much control and made her so ugly. 
I will try to fix her face one day…. one day. 
……… and for the last, the fish, an Angel Fish or as we call it here, Acara Bandeira, I used to breed this specimen and I still love these fishes, now I am focusing more on smaller specimens but with the same origins, the Amazon Black River. 

These works were made in a time when I was having very similar feelings I am having now about my work, painting and art in general. 
I need a rest from myself and my work, it can take one day or one year or one decade, who knows? Who cares ? I want something else my work has offered.  But every day I wake up feeling like to paint but don’t know how or what.
These paintings were made exactly when I created the Mein Welt concept for my life style. 
So all this feeling about getting tired of myself is never a symptom of depression or any kind of lack of excitement. It is part of the creative process. It has highs and lows. 

I thought it would be nice to share these 3 works with you. Hope you enjoy it.  

a new one was found. Caio Fern, 1999, acrylic on paper.


I found this work from 1999.This was the year I started to paint.  I remember that only made this to see if it was possible to paint without using white paint.
The white parts you see are from the paper, not paint. I used a photo- self portrait as model.

Caio Fern, 1999, acrylic on paper.

Stag, new version, by Caio Fern 2012, acrylic on canvas.


After a couple of days of this work on my wall I had to cut that green part you saw when I posted the other day. I couldn’t breath with that. After to cut the room lighted up and I was able to breath again , that was a huge weight I had to get rid of.  It wasn’t only for aesthetical reasons, it was much more because of the things that passed by my mind when I was painting. Now I feel free and released, as the hunted Stag was able to escape and win the people who tried to kill him and that situation.

I am sorry you you prefer the way it was before.