Tag Archives: Deer

Painting, Dream, Free, Deer, Blood, Jesus, Nazis, Nephilim, Experiences, German, Brazilian, English. It is getting clear now.


I’ve made very few revisions on small details of this post that is the most important of my life as a painter… people didn’t realise this, and shouldn’t…. but after this, posted in the end of 2012, I stoped to paint for a while … .. what makes this little series definitive.   …… to people who says I never finish anything…..

Yesterday I was talking to my dear friend “golden angel” and all of sudden my last paintings have been much clear to me, the meanings and the facts surrounding them.
Below is the explanation I gave to her about what have happened these days in my studio and explanation about the last 4  or 5 paintings I’ve made:
—————————————————-
I spent the entire morning in the studio burning my brain to figure out a way to compose what I have in mind. I think I got.
One or two nights ago I had many dreams, weird ones. I woke up the whole night because of them… not nightmares, only weird. In the morning I woke up and started to write a dialog. I want to write this dialog on the canvas after to finish the painting. It is weird and quite evil but has a good end. It is about Jesus, Nazis, the Nephilims (Giants) of the book of Genesis, genetic experiences, sex, blood lines, South America, but all very condensed in very few lines and I don’t think people will notice it all. But will all be there very clear. I can’t explain. The title of the work will be Stag, following the works I am doing where I write words deer related….. venison, fawn, doe and now stag. I see this dialog as a way to show I got rid of all the past and devils haunting my life.
  • venison was about flesh, its influences in our acts and lives,  and the fact I am eating meat now.
  • fawn, like a rebirth, a new hope and life.
  • Doe was about fatality of life, the nature of the women and female.
  • Stag will be about blood. The blood of Jesus, the blood lines described in the Bible from Adam to Jesus and the nephilims’ descendent, and the nazis experiment and ideals about a perfect blood line and the contemporary concept about transhumanism…… blood in general, the animal blood in us and the importance it has had during all the History including to God.
———————below is the dialog I intend to work on my next painting —————————————————————–
Stag  – A South American dialogue between a Traditional Nazi ( Joseph Mengele’s assistant’s granddaughter ) and a Reborn Fundamentalist Christian painter. – Penis, neck and chest used to bleed like a hunted stag. – It has been a trophy, Mein Lieber. – Eu, Ich.. I mean, I am not. – Isn’t you who decidesss. – Warum werent sie verhaftet, wenn in diesem Teil der Welt angekommen? Desse lado do mundo ? – Speak only the devil’s language which came from North. – Eu don’t know it very well…prefiro na lingua que eu penso. – Isn’t you who choosesss. But for your comfort, me neither. – Why weren’t they arrested when arrived to this side of the world? – Their services and knowledge seemed to please and satisfy all parts involved here. – Does my blood belong to their blood line? – Nein, you came from their victims. – Am I one of their experiments? – Sie sind nicht. – Because I had one very strong genetic characteristic of their experiments. – If you say so… let’s call it a coincidence. – Coincidence isn’t a very scientific or spiritual term, is it? And stop to play with your thighs in front of me. – I know your weakness. – You are not the Frau I am supposed to take. – Oh, I am sorry. Are you supposed to take only one now? We both know you don’t like this rule, Stag. – When Jesus called I answered. Now I am washed in His blood. They can’t touch me anymore. – Blood blood blood. It is all about blood….. and blood lines. – Not even you are able to touch me. Stop to hunt. Nobody can. – It is all about blood line. Has been since from the very beginning, from Adam. – I don’t care. I am free. Eu sou livre. – Stag. – He made me much more than this. Essa foi nossa ultima conversa e contato. Eu te lanço no abismo, Nephilim, junto com sua suastica. ( That was our last conversation and contact. I throw you into the abyss, Nephilim*, along with your swastika ).
*The Nephilim were the “sons of God” ( fallen Angels ) who took the “daughters of men” according to Genesis 6:4, and generated a new breed not approved by God.

 

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Wild Life means a little yellow box. The Wisconsin- Bournemouth- São Paulo Connection.


So it means all started because I friend of mine sent a message from Wisconsin telling me about a deer who had died hit by a car in front of her house, the carcass was right on her front lawn and the county for weeks didn’t send anyone to take it from there.

Telling me this novel about how to make the county take a dead deer carcass from your lawn we talked a lot about the deer situation on the green state of Wisconsin. Go Packs !!!!!
It got in my mind and I pretty much had to start to paint , for some reason painting is a tool I use to talk to myself.
All the rest you saw on the earlier posts, for one month or more I have painted using the deer theme and writing about this particular experience : deer, painting, my life’s story.
It is funny, up there in the frozen Wisconsin comes news which touch me deeper than the facts surrounding my life here, in the hot tropics. And talking about tropics, I have tried to paint for four days… It is too hot to make any move, the canvasses has been prepared and all is in my mind, but when I get into my studio… ohh noooo… I only feel like to take an uber cold tea or fresh fruit juice. I am not complaining , it must to be an unconscious excuse to postpone the battle that is the act of painting for me . Ahhhhh… the frozen lands up north seem to be so tempting now.

Sometimes is the extremely opposite that is able to show the truth of us and open hidden understandings.  God bless the extremely opposite of our particular and earthly nature.

But the story doesn’t end here. This friend of mine, Sandy, insisted a couple of times ” Caio, here we don’t say Stag, we say Buck”.
Yes, it is right and I intend to make a ” Buck” painting one day, very soon. I want very much to do it as still have to dive deeper into this feeling.
But let me tell the Stag Story : As you know English isn’t my first or not even second language. Is it the third ? There was me, 2007, after have lived in London I started to travel by Great Britain till a girl invite me to live with her and her girl friend at her apartment in a lovely south shore little town named Bournemouth. I even got a two weeks job there in one of the dozens night clubs. The most expensive one named 2020, I got the black t-shirts and still wear it today, hahaha.
One day coming back from the beach I had to pass by the down town as it was the way to the apartment I was staying as guest when I looked to the floor and found an used little box of matches which you see the pictures on this post.
I read “stag”, well my English skills are only  good for surviving and at the time I decided to read all Tolkien’s work, starting by Silmarillion which I was reading exactly at the time, my idea was if my English sucks I will start to read this language by what everybody says that is very hard, hahahah, it didn’t help me at all, as you can see .
But  “stag”, what is this?  Arriving at the apartment I took a dictionary and saw the meaning. That is the reason I chose to use this world.
Remember… here in Sao Paulo we have absolute anything related with the deer culture. It is completely an alien and exotic concept for the local life style. So if I had the necessity to paint because of this subject and the stories told me from North, I would use the word I was familiar with as my only personal experiences with deer are from Europe and England. Even the paintings I made in 2008 and 2009 portraiting deers are from models I saw and photographed there in the old land.
About this old box of matches, I took it with me all the way, it became my bookmark till today, started marking the pages of Silmarillion and all the books I have read since then. Yes, I have it by my side now and took these pictures a couple of days ago as I intended to post about, it would be hanged and glued on the painting I wrote the word Stag… but I decided to keep as a bookmark.
It is pretty, isn’t it?
——————–
the deer photo was taken by Sandy.

Painting, Dream, Free, Deer, Blood, Jesus, Nazis, Nephilim, Experiences, German, Brazilian, English. It is getting clear now.


combineYesterday I was talking to my dear friend “golden angel” and all of sudden mylast paintings have been much clear for me, the meanings and the facts surrounding them.

Below is the explanation I gave to her about what have happened these days in my studio and explanation about the last 4  or 5 paintings I’ve made:

—————————————————-

I spent the entire morning in the studio burning my brain to figure out a way to compose what I have in mind. I think I got.

One or two nights ago I had many dreams, weird ones. I woke up the whole night because of them… not nightmares, only weird. In the morning I woke up and started to write a dialog. I want to write this dialog on the canvas after to finish the painting. It is weird and quite evil but has a good end. It is about Jesus, Nazis, the Nephilims (Giants) of the book of Genesis, genetic experiences, sex, blood lines, South America, but all in very few lines and I don’t think people will notice it all. But will all be there very clear. I can’t explain. The title of the work will be Stag, following the works I am doing where I write words deer related….. venison, fawn, doe and now stag. I see this dialog as a way to show I got rid of all the past and devils haunting my life.

  • venison was about flesh, its influences in our acts and lives,  and the fact I am eating meat now.
  • fawn, like a rebirth, a new hope and life.
  • Doe was about fatality of life.
  • Stag will be about blood. The blood of Jesus, the blood lines described in the Bible from Adam to Jesus and the nephilims’ descendent, and the nazis experiment and ideals about a perfect blood line… blood in general, the animal blood in us and the importance it has had during all the History including to God.

———————below is the dialog I intend to work on my next painting —————————————————————–

Stag  – A South American dialogue between a Traditional Nazi ( Joseph Mengele’s assistant’s granddaughter ) and a Reborn Fundamentalist Christian painter.
– Penis, neck and chest used to bleed like a hunted stag.
– It has been a trophy, Mein Lieber.
– Eu, Ich.. I mean, I am not.
– Isn’t you who decidesss.
– Warum werent sie verhaftet, wenn in diesem Teil der Welt angekommen? Desse lado do mundo ?
– Speak only the devil’s language which came from North.
– Eu don’t know it very well…prefiro na lingua que eu penso.
– Isn’t you who choosesss. But for your comfort, me neither.
– Why weren’t they arrested when arrived to this side of the world?
– Their services and knowledge seemed to please and satisfy all parts involved here.
– Does my blood belong to their blood line?
– Nein, you came from their victims.
– Am I one of their experiments?
– Sie sind nicht.
– Because I had one very strong genetic characteristic of their experiments.
– If you say so… let’s call it a coincidence.
– Coincidence isn’t a very scientific or spiritual term, is it? And stop to play with your thighs in front of me.
– I know your weakness.
– You are not the Frau I am supposed to take.
– Oh, I am sorry. Are you supposed to take only one now? We both know you don’t like this rule, Stag.
– When Jesus called I answered. Now I am washed in His blood. They can’t touch me anymore.
– Blood blood blood. It is all about blood….. and blood lines.
– Not even you are able to touch me. Stop to hunt. Nobody can.
– It is all about blood line. Has been since from the very beginning, from Adam.
– I don’t care. I am free. Eu sou livre.
– Stag.
– He made me much more than this. Essa foi nossa ultima conversa e contato. Eu te lanço no abismo, Nephilim, junto com sua suastica. ( That was our last conversation and contact. I throw you into the abyss, Nephilim*, along with your swastika ).

*The Nephilim were the offspring of the “sons of God” ( fallen Angels ) and the “daughters of men” according to Genesis 6:4, a new breed not approved by God.